"Christmas can get expensive when you have 140 brothers and sisters."
"I saw Mommy kissing Roachy Claus underneath the mistletoe last night. Gross."
"Hey kids, we ate all your candy. It was delicious. We also ate those cookies you left out last night."
"Finally, a little alone time. Can't wait to eat my toasted marshmallow and read a little Charles Dickens. I love Christmas."
"My parents wanted me to come home to South Carolina for Christmas but I said no way. It's Aspen for me, baby."
"This snowman and my mother-in-law have something in common. They're both cold-hearted. Don't tell her I said that!"
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