Freddie's Texts Gone BAD

So yeah... my name is Fredward Benson. That's what my mother named me. Unfortunate. But true. You know what else is unfortunate? How my PearPhone CHANGES my text messages because it THINKS I misspelled words (but actually I didn't)! Here are some of the worst changes:

Message I Wanted to Send to Sam: "I loathe you!" Message My PearPhone ACTUALLY Sent: "I love you." Aftermath: Sam responded back: "I hate you with every inch of my being. Lose my number, jerk-face."

Message I wanted to Send to My Mom: "Picked up present, put in mail." Message My PearPhone ACTUALLY Sent: "Picked up pheasant, put in jail." Aftermath: My mom went looking for me at the county jail with her pheasant flu shot kit . She ended up getting arrested instead. Apparently you CAN'T bring syringes into jails! I had to stay with Spencer and Carly until they released her.

Message I Wanted to Send to Carly: Bought you a purple shirt at mall -- reminded me of you! Message My PearPhone ACTUALLY Sent: Bought you a pimple shirt at mall -- reminded me of you! Aftermath: Carly freaked out and washed her face 12 times in a row. She began to peel. It was kinda gross. Oh, girls...

And the last PearPhone mishap I had was actually MY fault! I accidentally texted the WRONG person. See, there's this really cute girl in my history class and I thought I was giving her a compliment by saying, "There's something about your face that I can't stop staring at." BUT I accidentally sent this message to LEWBERT! Well, Lewbert was sooooo offended (because he thought I was talking about his hideous wart) he changed the locks to my apartment.

Okay, that's it. Bye.

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