My mom KISSED Santa
I just saw "Mommy" kissing Santa Claus! No, really! I did! My mom's new boyfriend is one of those mall Santas. Don't believe me? Check out his biz card (which I swiped from his wallet).
At first I was super annoyed by "Santa." He was grossing up the bathroom with all his beard and nose hair trimmings. AND -- the guy never takes off his Santa suit, so when he comes over we have to turn down the thermostat to like 50 degrees. So not only is the house freezing and covered with old man hair, but I just went to the kitchen for a snack and found that he ate up all the cookies and milk in the house. THAT'S MY JOB! >:(
Then, I realized this might not be such a bad thing. Dude's got two things going for him:
1) His biz card gets me a 10% discount at the food court in the mall.
2) After Friday, he starts training to be a mall Easter Bunny. You know what mall Easter Bunnies have? CANDY!
Plus, Freddie is petrified of extremely large, fake rabbits, so I'm planning on sending him over to The Benson's to scare the jelly beans out of him!