Chip Vs. Chuck

Hi it's me Spencer and I'm currently typing this blog from my hiding spot in a super-secret location.

There's this maniac little kid out to get me and his name is Chip. You may have heard of his equally-crazy older brother Chuck. You know, that dude who locked me in the basement and sprayed fluid at me. 

Anyway, because I'm really bored in my super-secret location, I decided to rank these two little psychopaths and see which is worse. 

Chip Vs. Chuck 

Height - Winner: Chip

Although Chuck's bigger, Chip's smaller stature gives him an advantage. He can hide inside objects and attack at random with his ninja-like stealth.

Originality - Winner: Chuck 

Chuck is the one who started this rivalry in the first place. Without his horrible influence, Chip might have grown up to be a pretty sweet kid. Highly unlikely though. 

IQ - Winner: Chip 

Since Chuck actually thought Derf was a real number that was recently invented, Chip wins this round by default. 

Battle Skills - Tie Score

While Chuck is more fond of psychological torture, Chip is the more aggressive. In fact I---

Oh no! There's someone at door. I hope it isn't Chip. Please someone come and rescue me!!! I'm locked in my bathroom. Come at once!!! (But please knock first. I'll need to put on a towel.)