Happy (Vice) President's Day!
I was just looking at the calendar and realized Monday is President's Day! I was totally going to write the President a letter but then I felt bad and didn't want to make him read it on his day off. (The President does get President's Day off right? I mean, everyone else does!) So, I wrote the Vice President a letter instead. He's probably not too busy.
Here's the letter I wrote:
Dear Mr. Vice President,
I have a few questions for you. When you get a moment, please tweet me the answers.
1. Are you mad that there is no "Vice President's Day"? Because I could totally get behind that idea if you need support. I'm always looking for a way to get a day off. Wait, I don't have a job -- so for me, every day is Vice President's Day!
2. Who's your favorite Vice President? Mine is either the dude who invented the internet or the one with the funny mustache.
3. Do you have to get the President a gift on President's Day? If so, what are you getting him? I'd get him an ice cream maker. Everyone loves those.
4. Do you ever not want to shake hands with someone... like a world leader with really sweaty hands? I'd keep antibacterial wipes in my pocket if I were you. That's just free advice from me. You can thank me later.
5. Doesn't "vice" usually mean something bad? Like: "My only vice is online shopping." If I were you, I'd change my job title to something more flattering like -- President's Special Helper.
6. I got a parking ticket yesterday that I don't want to pay. Can you take care of that for me?