Hey, it's me Freddie. If you watch iCarly, you know I spend A LOT of time with girls.  Carly's my best friend.  Sam is ALWAYS around (unfortunately). And... my mom follows me everywhere.  She even tries to go with me into the men's bathroom at restaurants like the Cheesecake Warehouse.  She says she wants to make sure I use anti-bacterial soap.  She also feels the need to remind me to make sure my zipper is zipped.  It's so embarrassing!

I always liked being surrounded by girls (even if one of them is Sam).  But then, last week, I woke up in the middle of the night worried if my HAIR was soft and shiny.  And then I thought to myself, "Wait!  I'm a DUDE!  I shouldn't care if my hair is soft and shiny!"  That's when I realized I've been spending TOO MUCH time with females.  So I thought to myself...

"I need to hang out with SPENCER."  And I knew what we needed to do together.  One word:  CAMPING!  There's nothing more guyish than camping.

So I went over to Carly's place and asked Spencer if we could go camping together.  He said, "Sure."  Then he accidentally set his shoe on fire.  So we put out the fire and planned a camping trip for Saturday.  It was an "interesting" trip.  Here's what happened...

10:00 AM
Spencer and I arrived at the camp site and set up our tent.  Spencer said he knows all about putting up tents because he used to be a camp counselor.  We put up our tent in only 20 minutes!  Then it fell down.  Then we put it up again.  Then it fell down again.  Then some lady who was hiking by stopped and helped us put the tent up again.  This time the tent stayed up.  The lady's name was Agatha.  She had hair on her upper lip but she was nice.

11:30 AM
Spencer and I went mountain bike riding before lunch.  But Spencer's bike hit a rock and he fell over and broke his fingernail.  I told him it was no big deal, but Spencer kept whining about how much his fingernail hurt so we had to turn our bikes around and go back.  He soaked his finger in fruit punch for two hours which he said made it feel better, even though his finger was all red and wrinkly from the fruit punch.  And Spencer said it made his finger taste great.

1:30 PM
I was getting hungry so I said we should go to the lake and catch some fish for lunch.  But when we got to the lake, me and Spencer couldn't put the worms on our fish hooks.  I told him to do it and he refused.  And he told me to do it, but I refused.  We both felt bad for the little worms.  We just couldn't shove hooks into their wormy little bodies.  So, we named our 5 worms:  Steve, Nancy, Carlos, Stephanie, and Maude.  Then we set the worms free.  Luckily, I had some Fat Cakes in my backpack, so we ate those for lunch instead.  (They were the fat-free kind of Fat Cakes.)

2:00 PM
We decided we'd go hiking around the mountains.  Spencer found these special maple trees.  They have sap inside that tastes great, just like maple syrup.  So Spencer used his junior pocket knife to stick the tree.  Then Spencer tried to suck out some syrup.  While that was happening, I saw an AMAZING flock of seagulls.  I was just about to take a great pic of the seagulls when Spencer SCREAMED (because, while he was sucking sap out of the tree, a brown beetle bit his tongue).  Spencer's scream scared the seagulls away, so I didn't get the picture.  And Spencer's tongue got a weird bump on it.  But we kept hiking.

3:00 PM
Spencer's tongue was throbbing because of the beetle bite.  So I used my cell phone to call a medical clinic.  They said the best thing to do for a brown beetle bite is to put it in water.  So Spencer and I hiked over to this small river (more like a stream).  Spencer leaned over and dangled his tongue in the water for about two hours.  While he did that, I laid out on a big rock to get a sun tan.  It was nice.  I watched a bunch of beavers building a dam in the river.  That was the first time I ever saw a beaver.  They're so cute!  I wanted to try and pet one, but Spencer said it was too dangerous.  Luckily, the bump on Spencer's tongue went away.

5:00 PM
Spencer made me sit with him and watch the sunset.  I said that it was boring but Spencer said it would be really great, so we sat down to watch it.  It was boring.  Spencer fell asleep on the rocks.  So I just sat there watching the sunset, thinking about the beavers.

8:00 PM
It was getting cold so I asked Spencer to make a campfire.  Surprisingly, Spencer COULD NOT get the fire to start no matter how hard he tried.  That was weird to me because Spencer is ALWAYS setting stuff on fire by accident.  But now that we NEEDED a fire... no fire.  Anyway, a nice man who was camping nearby started the fire for us.  That was great because we sat around it and toasted marshmallows.  Later that night, Spencer's pillow caught on fire.  We have no idea how that happened.

9:00 PM
Spencer went to the car to get some more pillows.  While he was doing that, he accidentally released the parking brake and our car rolled down a hill and into the small river.  Spencer wasn't too upset because it was a rental car.  Actually, I was more upset because I worried that some of the beavers may have been hurt.  But luckily they were okay.

THE NEXT MORNING: 10:00 AM
A tow truck came and got our car out of the river.  Spencer drove us home.  When we got there, Carly and Sam were heading over to Build-A-Bra.  They were all excited because, apparently, Build-A-Bra got these new kinds of straps that have fake fur on them.  They asked me if I wanted to go.  I said sure.  Hey, even though it's kind of lame hanging out with girls all day at the mall, it still beats camping with a guy.